Perceptions (Writing Challenge)

"A bad beginning makes a bad ending." George said, looking at his two companions in crime - or rather in amateur theatre, which as many critics will tell you, is about the same thing.

The three of them, George, Jack, and Adam, were in the dressing room of one of those small, local theatres. There was nothing much to recommend it, everything was a bit frayed, a bit faded, and with a slightly musky scent to it. Aside from the light-bulbs surrounding the theatre mirror there was nothing here that would have looked out of place in their grandparent's time. Or so they'd occasionally tell each other.

Feeling frustrated Jack snapped, "Don't you start again."

"I'm just saying..." George began.

Before he could finish the other two interrupted him, completing his sentence in near unison, "There should be four more men in our troupe to get a full ensemble."

"Yes... I believe I've made my opinions known..." George said with as much dignity he could muster. "Honestly though..."

"Look we're just going to do some sketches and gaffes," Jack interrupted. "We talked about this already! Can't we just get on with the rehearsal?"

"Don't pull your hair out!" George said, smiling a bit at his clever use of slang.

"It's keep your hair..." Jack began, but stopped as Adam tugged at his sleeve, discreetly shaking his head.

"Alright, alright," George said with a dismissive wave. "Let's get this show on the road!" As he finished putting on his gaudy costume he started humming a tune, which slowly turned to song. His clear, melodious voice filled the small dressing room, to the point that when he reached the chorus line both Jack and Adam joined in.

Oh! Susanna, do not cry for me;
I come from Alabama, with my Banjo on my knee.

After he finished his song George sighed. Looking at the two of them he cautiously asked, "You're not going to do any awkward jokes are you?"

Jack and Adam smiled at him, big, huge white smiles on their heavily made-up faces.

"Why perish the thought!" Jack said, moving to the left side of George.

"Wouldn't think of it," Adam said, moving to the right side of George.

"Say now, our friend here's from a musical family!" Jack said, smiling and pointing at George in a rather exaggerated way.

Without really thinking George agreed, "Why yes I..." Then he paused, but before he could say anything Adam interrupted.

"Yessir! You got that right, why even his missus like singing that there Opera! She's practising right now!"

Jack put up a mock confused expression, "But how come he's here with us, instead of back home and listening to her?"

"You fool!" Adam said, "Can't you see he don't want the neighbours to think he's beating her!"

"And that!" George interrupted, finger wagging. "Is what I mean by inappropriate jokes! Didn't we agree that we wouldn't use that one?"

"Come on, it's a good one!" Jack snapped, "But fine! Let's leave it out so the vicar's wife won't frown!"

"Ah don't blame our dear friend here," Adam said. "HE's a man of good taste and perfect posture! Why Sir he was such a great fellow they gave him a new waking cane."

"Walking cane? He doesn't have a cane!"

"Why that's 'cause he put it in a real safe place."

"But what good is it if he doesn't walk with it?"

"Why it helps his posture like nobody's business!"

"And that one is also out of the picture!" George said while finishing up his make-up. "Let us stick to good old fashioned jokes, clean humour!"

"And I tell you, there's no one better to play Mr Johnson than you!" Jack said. "You might say you only have to be yourself!"

That was when George gave him a good old fashioned English two finger salute, "One finger for each of you! Now let's get up on stage and do the exercise, or I'll take a cane and really help your posture!" If not for the make-up he might looked quite red.

"I'm sorry!" Adam said, holding up a hand.

"Got carried away," Jack agreed, nodding politely. "We'll keep it clean. Didn't mean to go this far."

For a moment George looked pensive, then he smiled and nodded, "Oh well! Just a bit of nerves eh? Mustn't get all cranky eh?"

The stage was only out the door and up a set of small stairs, leading onto one of those small, slightly cramped local stages. The backstage was just ten feet wide, separated from the front stage by a thick curtain. There were none of the luxuries of a big stage, even props and costumes had to be brought from home. At least they'd replaced the old oil-lamps with incandescent lights lining the ceiling.

Right now of course the audience was quite small: a couple of their friends; the stage manager; and a rather scruffy looking gentleman who looked as if he'd only come inside to hide from the rain. The moment the three friends stepped onto the stage the scruffy fellow clapped his hands and rasped, "Bravo! Bravo!"

George stepped forward, bowed politely, extravagantly doffing his top-hat. When he rose he put it back on with a little extra pat to make sure it stayed on.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" George began. "We have here a little entertainment for you. It's just the three of us so we can't do the whole repertoire, but we hope you'll like it anyway!" With that he moved into a quick song.

The whole singing part of the entertainment seemed to go tolerably well, at least the audience applauded and there were a couple of half-hearted attempts to join in the chorus. Then they got ready for the comedy routine, the three of them lined up and smiled widely at the audience.

"Why I do say that out there's the vicar!" George said pointing out into the half empty hall, before doffing his top-hat. "I for one am so glad we can help bringing civilization and Jesus to the benighted heathen what never heard of him!"

"Who's civilization?" Jack asked, scratching his head. "I've never heard of the fellow, pretty sure he's not from around where we live!"

"Why civilization is the noble endeavour of teaching people how to have proper manners and live like proper gentlemen!" George said, moving his thumbs under his lapels and striking a mock heroic pose. "So that one day those poor heathens can be just as educated and savvy as us!"

"And the missionary chappies are helping with all that?" Adam said, sounding suitably impressed.

Nodding sagely George said, "Sure are!"

"So they be making the local chieftains just like the society ladies?" Jack asked.

"Just so!"

"Of course!" Adam broke in, grinning a bit. "Why they're half way there already! Both the society ladies and the chieftain wants to have the missionary for dinner!"

There were a few scattered laughs out in the audience, but they quickly moved on to a quick comic song between Jack and Adam. Overall the three of them felt quite pleased, it'd be a nice evening's family entertainment.